Tatiana Sinitsina is an artist who created himself.

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Tatyana Sinitsina is a Saratov artist with an amazing fate. On January 13, 2021, she turned 35 years old. And she has already done so much on this earth. She has cerebral palsy since childhood. Tatiana is a disabled person of group I and moves in a wheelchair. It would seem that the state of health does not allow her to lead an active lifestyle… But this talented girl does not take up energy and love of life! She has a good command of a computer, composes bright, kind poems and draws landscapes and still lifes of amazing beauty, holding the brush with the fingers of her right foot.

Tatiana is the winner of Russian and regional competitions in Moscow (2003) and Saratov (2004). She received the Grand Prix at the international exhibition in Italy, where she was later invited. The winner of the “Philanthropist” award is the only one of its kind, which is considered a symbol of our renewed society – the society of equal opportunities. The Government of the Russian Federation has included it in the list of international, foreign and Russian awards for outstanding achievements in the field of science and technology, education, culture, literature and art.

You asked where and when we applied. Tanya’s trip to the presentation of the prestigious International Award “Philanthropist” to her could have been disrupted only because of the indifference of officials!

– We do not know anything about who, when and under what circumstances recommended this artist for the award. If we recommended it, then we would also be responsible for the trip, ” Natalia Guseva, head of the Department of regional cultural institutions of the Ministry of Culture of the Saratov Region, answered. – Of course, it is necessary, but we have no funds planned for a trip to Moscow for this prestigious competition. We can’t help you with anything. (It was 2010. We found the funds, we went to the presentation of the prestigious award).

In the same year, a happy one for Tanya – I repeat, it was 2010, Tanya’s works were exhibited in the Radishchev Museum (January) and in the hall of the government of the Saratov region (November). The latter was highly appreciated by the Governor Pavel Ipatov, Bishop of Saratov and Volsky Longin, who were present at the event. The funds then received from the auction (about 60 thousand rubles) were transferred to Tatiana’s parents.

It is important for every person to realize at least one dream in life, otherwise he ceases to believe in his own strength. But it is even more important not to deviate from it. Tanya dreamed of meeting the actor Sergei Bezrukov, and she succeeded, she had the opportunity to meet Sergei Vitalievich, give him her picture, in response, he wrote on her self-portrait “Tanya, you are a great fellow!” Tanya’s dreams are coming true. She dreamed of a dolphinarium – and visited it, the trip was organized by the Pension Fund. She dreamed of visiting Matronushka in Moscow and we went with her to Moscow to the Pokrovsky Monastery to the relics of the saint, who always helps her in everything. Tanya dreamed of getting to the Crimea and in the summer of 2016 she realized her dream, also not without the help of kind people. I appealed to the President with a request – I need a mobile electrically controlled wheelchair on which she could move herself, her request was heard. In the summer of 2016, Tanya herself was already moving through the streets of the district center, and before it seemed unreal. Tanya was in the Crimea once again, now she is drawn there with a magnetic force. She would like to live by the sea and draw!

It is difficult when a person breaks the wings of a dream with disbelief in his strength, pessimism, but it is more terrible when he does it himself, leaving behind both the struggle and the desire, and condescends to accept the circumstances.

Tanya’s exhibition, filled with bright impressions of their author and his unceasing ability to be surprised by the beauty and diversity of the world, will not leave anyone indifferent. The works of the artist were exhibited by the regional Pushkin Youth Library, the exhibition was repeatedly in the Government.

Tanya was accepted into the Creative Union of Artists of Russia, the certificate of a member of the Union of Artists was presented to her at the exhibition in the Government by the Governor of the Saratov Region Valery Radaev.

My name is Muzafarova Natasha

Hello! I could talk about Tanya endlessly. I’ve known her for 20 years. Having learned, it was impossible not to love. When I want to “lose my temper”, complain about life or about someone (something), I remember it. I still keep her first drawing, given to me: a little mermaid drawn with a pen on a piece of paper in a check. It was the first time I came to meet Tanya, the rumor in the village is spreading quickly – they told me “there is such a unique girl who draws with her feet”. Kicking is a big word. With your toe. Not big. Pinky! Holding a pencil, he stubbornly draws an inscription on his paintings. How many of them, her children, she had in the last two or three years, when drawing became the meaning of life.

Before there were “experiments”, small cardboard boxes, painted with whatever you have to. Tanya’s grandmother told me that very quickly there is no “material” left at home, everything is painted. Therefore, we have to “wash off” something so that Tanya draws again. At grandma’s house, everything is in Tanya’s paintings, even the icon – the Most Holy Theotokos with the baby Jesus and that-Tanina is not made with hands. The grandfather runs to the stall opposite – “I would like hairspray!”, the sellers laugh: “what is it for the grandmother to put on a marathon?”, “nah, Tanya sprinkles her masterpieces”.

My mother discovered her daughter’s abilities at the age of seven. Before that, she was not given any pencils or paints (why mock a handless child?), she was only taken to doctors – cerebral palsy left no hope that she would ever “develop” her pens or be able to stand on her feet. And only when Tanya had a little sister Marina, and she began to grow up like an ordinary child and start running, jumping,drawing at a young age, Tanya began to do everything, or almost everything, together with her. So there was a predilection for watercolors. Then they already bought her oil paint in tubes, gouache. The canvases have become larger. A teacher from the school studied with Tanya, having learned that the girl has a gift. I just explained how to mix colors,how to achieve the desired light (color). After such full-fledged lessons, the girl was able to win her first award – she won the All-Russian Exhibition of Disabled Schoolchildren, won the Grand Prix (a prize of 10 thousand rubles), received an invitation to Italy. But the family refused to go. My mother still can’t believe that her daughter has become an artist and is already “traveling around the capitals” herself.

When I left for Saratov in 2007, I brought with me several paintings that Tanya had given me. And I showed them to everyone, sometimes to no avail, sometimes people admired them. Thanks to the world – famous artist-Yevgeny Yali-we got to the exhibition at the Radishchevsky Museum in Saratov. He asked to record a CD with Tanya’s works, then showed them at the museum, we brought the paintings, and on Tanya’s birthday on January 13-three years ago-Tanya’s first exhibition took place, where there was a real catalog with her works, annotations to the works, and at the opening of the exhibition, Saratov artists vied with each other to give her a high rating.

I remember there was a story on television. Our star is asked at home how she comes up with her stories, and in the frame, my mother shares her advice: “that’s because I say it’s necessary, but she still has her own way!” Yevgeny Dmitrievich Yali, as soon as he saw this, was upset: “This girl is a brush in God’s hands, in no case can she be taught, retrained, everything can be nullified, her talent will disappear!”

In the autumn of the same year, the exhibition was held in the Regional Government. The governor, Bishop of Saratov and Volsky Longin expressed their admiration for the gifted girl. A charity auction was held, which raised about 50 thousand from the sale of paintings.

The money was handed to the family. The rest of the paintings included in the catalog were declared “state property”, left them “to be exhibited”, promising that they would be bought from the family for 300 thousand rubles. But two years have passed, the organizers of the exhibition were reluctant to answer calls to the Government, instead of 300 thousand, at one time it was already about 200 thousand. And when we gathered in Moscow – in December of this year – and decided to take these “state” paintings with us, too, Tanya’s father started calling the Government again. I called the governor’s press service and was given an official answer: “no one promised any payment, the paintings could have been taken immediately, the family just didn’t do it.”

A sad story, and a joyful one at the same time. Because we went to Moscow after all. And this is the second time. In 2009, Tanya became the winner – took the 3rd place – at the “Philanthropist” competition. We spent three unforgettable days together in Moscow. The award was presented to her by Kobzon. We lived in the Izmailovo hotel.

That’s the kind of star she is. She manages a lot. Once she presented her painting – “Swan’s Fidelity” to Sergei Bezrukov. She kept saying everywhere that she was asleep and saw Sergei Bezrukov inviting her to a meeting. And what do you think – he invited! Being on tour in Saratov. She also gave him a picture, he has already signed her second autograph “Tanyusha, you are much younger!” There is a photo of them together. Tanya went to Moscow this time only thanks to “her dream”: maybe I’ll SEE him again! At the Moscow Art Theater, we were told that Sergei Vitalievich would not be there until the 25th. She was upset. But we went to the “Vysotsky” in “Kyrgyzstan”, Tanyusha was stunned – in the “unrecognized” actor, so reincarnated in “Zheglov”, she recognized her “Seryozha Bezrukov”.

I tell you this in detail, because this is “Tanyusha’s life”. She has a lot of friends. She communicates with everyone, accommodating everyone-everyone in her huge heart. We are going to Moscow, and she asks us to stop by Pushkin (to the editorial office of a local newspaper), because you see, she has a friend there – Vanya. She asks to go to the Moscow clinic, where her friend Seryozha, who was burned when the hotel burned, is lying in the burn center.

She’s texting with her foot. Poems. The novel was written on 200 pages. It’s an amazing novel. We are looking for a publisher who could sponsor his publishing house. Here is one of the chapters of this novel, I think you will appreciate Tanya’s skill. The novel is called “Virtual Date”

I often see an inexplicable picture in my dreams. I see myself in a chic, long, white, wedding dress. I walk with my own feet, but I have no shoes on and only terrible and very cold mud. There are hoofprints all around, it seems as if a whole herd of horses has just run through this cold mud. But here is an interesting moment: I was accompanied in a dream by a little girl who held my right hand with her small gentle hands, showed me the way.

And at that moment it seemed to me that I knew where I was being led. We were walking along a narrow path and my legs were simply paralyzed from unbearable terrible and terrible pain. But despite this terrible pain, I walked with a surprisingly fast and confident step, until I saw in front of me a huge rock, probably the size of a house, and near it huge bare trees. But when this stone moved, it is inexplicable, but at that moment I suddenly felt an inexplicable protection over me and my little soul suddenly calmed down.

The stone moved very smoothly and carefully. And from behind him suddenly appeared a young, tall and slender man with long hair curling over his shoulders. He just looked at me and everything blossomed in an instant. Under my feet, the terrible mud turned into tender grass in an instant, the leaves caressed my bare legs like silk rags, and my favorite white roses suddenly bloomed around me. They shone gently in the golden rays of the warm spring sun. And on the trees, small, vociferous nightingales suddenly began to appear. They gently sang their tender songs for us and gave us joy and peace.

The anxiety left my heart in an instant. The evil pain also disappeared somewhere and my little companion suddenly asked me to sit down and be just myself for a while. “Let yourself out,” she told me, ” Just try to forget about everything that has been tormenting you lately. Forget everyone who tried to break you in one way or another. I’m doing my best: rest, please, and whatever happens to you, remember only one thing. Wherever we are, I am always with you and protect your peace. And whatever happens, know that I’m always there. Please rest a little and play with me.”

I often see an inexplicable picture in my dreams. I see myself in a chic, long, white, wedding dress. I walk with my own feet, but I have no shoes on and only terrible and very cold mud. There are hoofprints all around, it seems as if a whole herd of horses has just run through this cold mud. But here is an interesting moment: I was accompanied in a dream by a little girl who held my right hand with her small gentle hands, showed me the way.

And at that moment it seemed to me that I knew where I was being led. We were walking along a narrow path and my legs were simply paralyzed from unbearable terrible and terrible pain. But despite this terrible pain, I walked with a surprisingly fast and confident step, until I saw in front of me a huge rock, probably the size of a house, and near it huge bare trees. But when this stone moved, it is inexplicable, but at that moment I suddenly felt an inexplicable protection over me and my little soul suddenly calmed down.

The stone moved very smoothly and carefully. And from behind him suddenly appeared a young, tall and slender man with long hair curling over his shoulders. He just looked at me and everything blossomed in an instant. Under my feet, the terrible mud turned into tender grass in an instant, the leaves caressed my bare legs like silk rags, and my favorite white roses suddenly bloomed around me. They shone gently in the golden rays of the warm spring sun. And on the trees, small, vociferous nightingales suddenly began to appear. They gently sang their tender songs for us and gave us joy and peace.

The anxiety left my heart in an instant. The evil pain also disappeared somewhere and my little companion suddenly asked me to sit down and be just myself for a while. “Let yourself out,” she told me, ” Just try to forget about everything that has been tormenting you lately. Forget everyone who tried to break you in one way or another. I’m doing my best: rest, please, and whatever happens to you, remember only one thing. Wherever we are, I am always with you and protect your peace. And whatever happens, know that I’m always there. Please rest a little and play with me.”

At the same time, this young, tall and slender guy approached me so close that I could even hear his voice. He seemed very familiar to me and very kind. And it even seemed to me that his words caressed my ear, as if I was listening to my favorite melody from a music box. And when he looked into my eyes, I just wanted to drown in them. I just felt like I was behind a stone wall and, to be honest, his eyes reminded me of a deep and beautiful ocean. He seemed to draw me in with his gaze, made me lose my head from the happiness that I felt being next to him.

And this is his touch..When he reached out and gently touched my chin with his hand, at the moment when I lowered my eyes from the thought that it was time to part with him, tears suddenly gushed from my eyes. And he touched me and whispered: “Please, don’t cry, because I’m always with you anyway, both in hot summer and cold winter. You just give me your word that you will never forget me, just like I will forget you. I’ll be back, I promise you. Believe me! I miss you very much too. You just wait for me. I’ll be there.”

And pointing to the little girl who was playing nearby, he added the following phrase: “Just look at how much she looks like you and me. You must live for me and for her. We will soon be together again with you. I’m asking you to be patient a little more. And I will definitely come back.”

And after these words, he ran his hand through my loose hair and very gently approached even closer than before. He hugged me tightly, and I melted into his tender embrace. I felt as if I had lost my head with happiness. And he suddenly suddenly took my hand and said: “Please, let’s go, I’ll show you something!”. He helped me to get up and said: “Let’s run!” I just repeated his movements after him. It seemed to me that I was flying with the wind. We ran so fast that I almost fell in front of the cliff. It was as if my legs gave way from the splendor that opened up to me from the cliff, there was nothing else to do but to whisper softly: “Thank you, my good one!”

And at that moment, he gently wrapped his arms around my waist, preventing me from falling off this high and steep cliff, under which a stormy river flowed, and a very large number of sharp stones protruded from the water. They looked more like huge fragments of rocks and were capable of taking the life of anyone who somehow got into this cruel fast river. He suddenly asked me to close my eyes and took me in his arms. I just hugged him, and he carried me somewhere. But when he gently lowered me to the ground, and asked: And I suddenly felt warm water falling on my palm, I opened my eyes and saw a huge and very beautiful waterfall in front of me.

I took my breath away with admiration. It was like a beautiful fairy tale, because I had only seen this in the movies and could not afford to dream about it.And he took and gave me this happiness. He went under the waterfall and called me to him. He said: “Come here and let the water caress us with you. Come to me. I won’t hurt you. Let’s go quickly to meet them!”

And without thinking, I began to gradually approach him. I really liked the feeling of the flow of water that flowed over my face. The water was very warm, almost like fresh milk.I felt so relaxed, so fragile, as if at that moment at least one of my usual problems had fallen on me, I would definitely not stand it and break down. And at this time, his hands gently embraced me and he again told me that he really needed me, like a breath of fresh air.

I hugged him and very carefully whispered to him: “I also really need you on a sunny day and on a rainy cloudy evening, when the moon does not shine through my window.”

And at this very time, my little companion played with small fluffy white kittens near a rose bush. And when she saw me from afar, she suddenly rushed to meet me. I took her in my arms, hugged her very tightly to me and gently kissed her little plump pink cheeks. My heart was beating so hard that it was about to jump out of my chest.

If only someone could feel what I felt when she hugged me, and he quietly came up to us and hugged us both and kissed her first, and then me. To be honest, I really missed this in my difficult fate. After all, a woman in any situation remains a woman, and recently I just forgot about it and felt like a black sheep in any company. And then I always forbade myself everything. Now it is impossible, now it is impossible. My motto has become the words can’t, won’t, won’t, can’t. To all the same answer constantly: no, no, and a thousand times no.

Maybe I can sometimes be selfish, unbearably capricious and flighty a little, even very cruel to myself, but at that moment I seemed to let myself out. I never once thought that everything could have been different, if then in my childhood the evil will of my fate had not befallen me, which decreed that I was already chained to a wheelchair forever. And I couldn’t even dream that I could have my own full-fledged family, that I could still be needed by someone.

And he already had an answer to any of my questions ready in advance. It seemed that he practically read my thoughts and could fulfill any whim on my part. And even the most insane desire was instantly fulfilled. And when I asked ” Why me?”, he replied: “It’s just that you deserve it more than anyone else, and don’t interrupt me, just listen to everything I have to tell you.” At these words, he gently touched my lips with his index finger and continued to speak: “I know much more about you than anyone else, and no one will ever love you as much as I love you. And I don’t know anyone who could love me more than you. You know everything yourself as well as I do, and all your misdeeds and sins have already been forgiven by me in advance. I’ll help you move everything. Please remember this always, always, and for my sake you will endure everything. And no matter how hard they try to separate us, I will still be there for you.”

At that moment, I suddenly really wanted to hug him, and I did it unexpectedly for myself. I told him: “Thank you for being there!” But I completely forgot that the enemies were even there, and they were just waiting in the wings to just ruin everything for us at once. I have surprisingly too many of them. And they are like ferocious tigers who are quite capable of tearing out my heart at any moment and then not repenting at all for what they did. And to be honest, I didn’t give a damn about their machinations, what they were plotting against me, almost constantly trying to somehow ruin my life.

Well, just try to imagine yourself in such a situation, imagine that you are not able to take one step without outside help. How do you like this offer? Imagine that you are defenseless as a baby and that you really need at least one person who could caress and protect you when it is simply vital for you.

But there is no such person next to you, and your usual problems suddenly turned out to be too much for you. I’m just wondering how you will get out of this situation? Not knowing where to go, and who to turn to. And at this moment, the closest person will put a lot of moral pressure on you. So I constantly, for one reason or another, fell under this moral pressure and simply did not know how to behave and where to lay my head to take a little break from my problems. I only give and very rarely demand something in return. I just often don’t have enough time to fulfill at least one of my own whims.

I constantly didn’t have enough time for myself. But new acquaintances just really scared me and drove me into a corner. I really missed such a person as my companion, who would spoil me so much. To be honest, I fell in love with him very much and I would really like him to treat me the same way as I do. And that he would love me as much as my heart loved him. Only these, not quite clear, thoughts were in my head at that moment. And he told me again that he loves me very much. To be honest, I didn’t want to think about anything but him at all. But at this time, as if on purpose anyway, it was as if someone stung my baby when she sat down on the grass. Not far from this place was the nest of a poisonous cobra. My little girl suddenly turned pale like a sheet of white paper and instantly lost consciousness. Her delicate hands became icy, like cold ice. At that moment, I didn’t even know how I could help her. I flew up to her like a ball of lightning, picked her up in my arms, hoping that she was about to hug me again with her little tender hands. That she would kiss me again as if I were her own mother. And at that moment he was quite far away from us and could not do anything. I called him again in my mind to myself: “Please come back, I need you. Please come back soon, our baby is in trouble. Only you can help her, come back to u

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